


Bruh

by PerryTheHoe



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: CRACKSMUT, Crack, I am so sorry, I blame my friend :(, Kinky, M/M, Other, Smut, crackfic, do not read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 22:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17692106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerryTheHoe/pseuds/PerryTheHoe
Summary: So I think I'm high off painkillers don't judge meThis idea came from a conversation about boiling cum, which came from a conversation about freezing cum sO iT's CleArLy A tOp QuAlItY sToRy





	Bruh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brown2356t](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brown2356t/gifts).



> Trigger warning for everything

Alex an John were smoking le drugz. Well, John was making Alex because Alex was a pussy virgin whore who had never done le drugz

John took a nice puff of le weedbong and felt pretty _lit._  
"Yo Alex bruh"  
"Yeah Johnny bro?" Alec was super stoned too because only high people can think stupid shit like this.  
"bruh, what is the freezing point of cum?" John asked his boyfriend/fuck toy because yeah Alex is a tiny bottom loser smh.  
"wHaT?" Alex was shooketh. This is not a suitable question to ask in front of Philip, the young boy who just materialised into existence just so I could talk about how this question is inappropriate.  
"Woah shit dude bro is that a child?" John was big confusion, was this just a hallucination or did these two losers actually have a child?  
"Fuck, we're dads now"  
"poor kid, I bet he wants to know about the freezing point of cum so bad" 

Philip looked sad at the thought that he might never know how cold it had to be to freeze that creamy sex juice. The tiny child decided to speak up  
"Does cum have a boiling point too?"   
"wAtCh YoUr PrOfAnItY!!!!!" Alex yeeted the kid out of existence because I don't want him in the story anymore.  
"Now that we're thinking about it,,, we could,,,, test it" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) John was turned on at the thought.  
"D-Daddy?" Alex was blushing, he seemed to get even smaller because everytime I think about how small he is he'll get smaller.  
"Take off your clothes _bitch_ " John commanded and Alex hastily obeyed, ripping his clothes off in his lust.

John smirked at the sight of Alex's tiny cock already hard at the thought of being fucked by John, though he wasn't entirely sure what john meant by 'testing it'. Before he had the time to think about it, John was on top of him and he was panting hard.  
"Oh yes baby, baby you're so good" John was saying.  
Alex couldn't remember John taking his own clothes off, mostly because I didn't write it bUt It HaPpEnEd.  
"D~Daddy~ O~Oh God~" Alex's voice was trembling as John rammed his benis into his tight bum hole. Before Alec knew, John had a tight grip on his c o c k making sure that he couldn't cum.  
"Pl~Pleease daddy, I n~need it~" Alex whined "I need to c~cum~"  
"No, this is for science baby" JOhn said, holding in his own orgasm, it was very painful for both of them but it was a very important experiment for sCiEnCe.

John grabbed a pan and started buttering it up.   
"J~John- I mean d~daddy?" Alex corrected himself.  
"When I say you're allowed to, cum into the pan b i t ch"  
"I n~need it now~"

John ignored Alex's request and jammed his penis so far up his hole that Alex's tiny penis burst right there. And I don't mean burst as in have an orgasm oh no, I mean his penis actually exploded from pressure build up. Cum splattered all over the frying pan. John put the pan over the stove (which had already been turned on because fuck safety amirite?) and took his gigantic benis out of Alex's teensy weensy hole and payed no attention as Alex literally crumpled to the floor and bled from where his tiny penis used to be.

John grabbed his benis and aimed it so his cum shot into icy pole holders and shoved them into the freezer. 

The icy-poles froze almost as soon as they were put in and the sperm on the stove turned into a nice thick omelette of what could have been human babies. John grabbed these, satisfied with his experiment. He then pulled up Alex (who was still a naked broken mess from his dicc literally exploding) and began to force feed him the forbidden snacks.  
Alex wasn't prepared for this, he sobbed as he tasted the unborn babies that never got the chance to exist because of them.

Alex contracted all the STDs from the icy-poles and cumelette (hahahah I made a pun out of cum and omelette) and since he had no penis to have them in, he died two days later. John had to live with the guilt of quite literally fucking Alex to death. Just kidding he killed himself two days later so they could continue their sex adventures down in the deepest pits of Hell.

God came down and deleted all traces of their existence from the world including the author (hAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA LMAO I'M AN AMAZING AUTHORE AKEJSFHRFG) writing this horrible story. Nobody ever knew about what happened to John Laurendthisstorynow and Alexander Hoemiltinydick.

**Author's Note:**

> what the actual fuck is this?


End file.
